Sybil Bruncheon’s 30 Days of Thanksgiving: LAW & ORDER... The Thanksgiving Episodes!...

Well, it’s happened again, and I’m so honored! The LAW & ORDER producers have acknowledged my contribution to all the various franchises of the series and the fact that I have appeared more than any other actress in their opening dead-body sequences for their Thanksgiving episodes. Among them are the following:

1) Macy’s fine lingerie buyer found stuffed into the giant “Tom The Turkey” float on Thanksgiving morning during the parade set-up. She had been strangled with a pair of footie-jammies with Scooby Doo on them.

2) Starbucks barista in elf costume found face down in a vat of pumpkin-spice-mint-choclate-nutmeg-cinnamon-holly-pine-needle-mistletoe decaf cappuccino… with red, white, and green sprinkles… but no whipped cream!... an important clue in the final scene.

3) Lady pilgrim in the Radio City Rockettes tribute to the Mayflower. As the full scale facsimile of the good ship sailed onstage in Act II to the Rockettes dancing to “Over The River And Through The Woods”, I could be clearly seen being keelhauled underneath the prow… the entire theatre descended into a 1000 children shrieking in terror as we cut to the first commercial.

4) Notorious pole-dancer painted and hung as a candy-cane in the Rockefeller Center Christmas tree and discovered on live television in front of millions of viewers by Al Roker as he goofs around with Hota Kotb over spiked cider and puns about “his North Pole”.

5) Prominent New York brain surgeon found in the Teuscher Chocolate window display as one of eight reindeer dragging Santa’s sleigh. I had been killed by having antlers driven into each of my temples… and then sprinkled with glitter… and draped with garlands

6) High-society dame discovered face-down inside the wedding rings case in Tiffany’s, stabbed to death with a silver-plate letter opener from Zales…

7) Carvel Ice Cream Store owner found dead in her frozen dairy case having been smothered with three Pudgy The Punkin’ cakes shoved down her throat and into her nose. Her eyes and teeth had been replaced with raisins.

8) Pleasant house wife from Sunnyside, "belovéd by everybody", found brined beyond recognition and full of Stove Top stuffing and celery... unchopped! And you know what that means!

I can’t begin to tell you how proud and humbled I am by my career as a corpse in such a record-breaking and respected television serious. The Screen Actors Guild has now proposed having my hand and footprints put into a large tray of sweet potato casserole out in front of Sardi’s during their Thanksgiving dinner special… BOTH seatings! ($89.00 per guest. Reservations recommended)

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