Dear Mummie, Lobbies? Lobby-ists? Lobby-estros? Can you tell us who all these people are milling about in hallways, elevators, public places; shaking hands, waving hands, putting their hands in their pockets... and then putting their hands in OTHER people's pockets? Thanks, Pete!

Dear Pete, Who can say? Here's a case in point! Look closely at this photo, and please read the following answers. You select the correct one:

a) These are two aluminum siding salesmen who are at the ABSOLUTELY ALUMINUM WORLD'S FAIR in Wauseon, Ohio. They are just leaving the "Aluminum Foil Fashion Pavilion" where they've purchased an assortment of reusable and recyclable aluminum négligées for their wives... or out-of-town-girlfriends.

b) These are two fraternity brothers from Beta Eta Theta who have come to their 25th reunion where the opening mixer for the weekend is a frosting-eating contest off of the nude bodies of the Ukrainian flight attendants on another floor.

c) These are two hotel guests hurrying to blind dates just arranged over an internet dating service on their laptops. One of the men is named Terry, and the other is Chris. Sadly, both Terry and Chris can be either men's names... or WOMEN'S!!! Comedy ensues in the fifth floor gentlemen's, shall-we-say, "lounge"!!!!

d) These are two former members of the military who are now retired. Sadly, the one on the left talks to himself frequently, and quite loudly, about very tiny flying saucers in his shoes, and the man on the right has just taken his 43rd selfie of the day and is furious that his rosacea still shows... even after retouching!

e) These are two Log Cabin Republicans. They haven't met yet, but will in just a few minutes near the punch bowl at the Gay & Girlish Gala in the James Buchanan Ballroom. They will marry in a year, and raise llamas in Wisconsin for their luxury sweater boutique.

f) These are two married men from opposite coasts of the country. They and about 80 other men gather every 3 months or so for secret poker championships where expensive bourbon and cigars are served and no wives are allowed. The stakes for the poker games are extremely high... and why not? It's the International Strip Poker Olympics.

g) These are two women who have successfully disguised themselves to spy on their husbands who have slipped out of town for the umpteenth time for some sort of convention. They will get past the reception table and into the ballroom, but will have quite a surprise when they sit down to play poker... and lose several hands. Comedy ensues when they run out of chips.

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