Sybil Bruncheon’s Easter News From Around The World!!!...

Chagrin Falls, Ohio.....It was only when the "Easter Bunny" began foaming at the mouth and growling some sort of gibberish that the police were called. It was later discovered to be graphic anatomical terms about sexual organs recited in Yugoslavian, and spoken backwards. The Bunny's ears also appeared to be horns when viewed in a mirror in the precinct men’s room. A local priest, Father Aloysius Throckmorton was called to exorcise the Bunny, but when Holy Water was thrown on him, the smell of sulfur, burnt marshmallows, and Prince Matchabelli "Wind Song" forced an evacuation of the police headquarters for three hours.... a hazmat team was called, and the EPA sent its specially trained team. They made several attempts to get the Devil-Bunny to surrender quietly, but it resisted, and finally they were forced to open fire. With a shriek of laughter, it disappeared through the floor in a burst of bright pink sparks and flames. Where it had been standing, they found a small pile of scorched Easter basket “grass”….also bright pink… there may have been a decapitated head in its wooden bucket…. Or perhaps just a jumbo-sized Cadbury chocolate crème egg…… melting… melting!.. or was it hatching?

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...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Coshocton, Ohio.

Holiday Bulletins From Around The World!!!...... Coshocton, Ohio. A legless Easter Bunny has been discovered "soldiering on" through her disability, making treats for the local children because, as she says, "They depend on me!".... Miss Trudy "Cootles" Lapin of 323 Brokoff Lane has been making hand painted eggs at Easter time for 18 years, and applies her paintbrush talents to other projects for the other 51 weeks as well.... many of the local traffic and street signs bear her great talent with interesting fonts. And she also has designed a line of hand-painted action figures portraying famous people in history and literature, including Long John Silver, Totie Fields, Toulouse Lautrec, and the nice lady that helps a magician! Keep up the good work, Cootles!! The children love you!!! 

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...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Little Timmy Henkbottem…

EASTER Holiday Bulletins From Around The World!!!... it didn’t seem to bother little Timmy Henkbottem whenever he played in his back yard that large bugs or insects would suddenly jump out from under a stone or log… or would drop from the ceiling in the garage or in the attic. As a matter of fact, by the age of 5 he began to actually look for them, and would bring them into the house frightening his mother, older sisters, and nice Mrs. Keppelmann, the housekeeper. He collected bugs of all sorts and kept them in jars on the shelves of his bookcase, feeding them leaves, grass…or each other….

So when Easter came and the strange Easter bunny visited the local shopping center, Timmy didn’t seem at all disturbed to see all the many mouth-parts twitching and wiggling and the staring compound eyes on the …um..”bunny” as he sat on its lap!... it wasn’t until it grabbed Timmy tightly in its six arms and skittered off to the flying saucer that the child realized something might be wrong…. terribly, oh so terribly wrong…

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...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Blunt, Arkansas.

Easter News From Around The World!... Blunt, Arkansas.... At the 4H Club's SPRING JAMBOREE, little Jimmy-Joe Hankins was eager to visit the "Just Desserts & Baked Goods Tent".... that is, until he was greeted at Table 37 by the Easter Bunny! With rolling, glaring eyes and a smile too wide, the rabbit offered a huge slice of cake to the child. It wasn't that Jimmy-Joe knew his Mom wouldn't approve of a full dinner-plateful of cake, or that it appeared in its soiled tray to have fallen off the back of a truck, or even that Bunny's eyes and smile were bizarre!.....no! .....It was the fact that when Bunny cut into it...... the cake moved..... and said something....

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...from Sybil Bruncheon's "EASTER EGGS-traordinaries"... Mt. Ignace, Utah.

Easter News From Around The World!... Mt. Ignace, Utah... The local citizens bring their children to the Fair-Of-Face Fairgrounds just outside of town to meet the Easter Bunny as he sits in his Sacred Spires Throne. There, the Blessed Bunny patiently, but firmly, explains to even the most resistant children the Great Plan for 144 Jehovah-Babes (and ONLY 144!) to be delivered unto "The Playground In The Clouds of Perpetual Joy and Clown-Capering"!!!... but for ALL other remaining children on Earth... they shall be taken to a sort of giant hibachi and be fricaseed into a delicious cross between shepherd's pie and General Tso's chicken for the Great Trickster and his 712 demon-pals... apparently little Enid McWhortle was not sure if she was one of the lucky 144... or an hors d'oeuvre!....

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