SybilSez...

Sybil Bruncheon has been performing on stage, radio, TV, film, and in various Vaudeville, burlesque, church basement, county fair, and sideshow....uh..."venues" for most of her 29 years. She is available for bookings for just about anything and can be reached at bruncheon@hotmail.com and on her website sybilbruncheon.com. She is a proud member of the Actors Equity Association and the Screen Actors Guild. Her erdo number is 16.

Breaking News from the CNN News Desk: Hollywood releases plans for another remake of Stephen King's IT and holds open calls for the role of Pennywise the Dancing Clown. Thwarting his cabinet's advice, the president declared that, as an actor, he had "great and unmatched wisdom" for auditioning. "After all, look how I played myself on The Apprentice... or the Sorcerer's Apprentice... or... whatever!".

Greeted by hooting, pointing, and raucous laughter, mostly by interns and cleaning staff, the president was turned away from the casting office as soon as he walked in, but he was offered a dinner theater tour of BLOW ME A POODLE-BALLOON, the musical biography of Twinkle the Birthday Clown who died in a fiery clown-car crash with 47 co-workers. The catastrophe nearly wiped out the entire children's birthday-party industry in the 1950s. The whole score is played on a calliope... and an assortment of trained-seal horns… and a chorus of whoopee-cushions. Details at 6. Cream pies at 11.

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Concerning Stephen King: His movies always strike me as either the best or the worst movies.... I adore THE GREEN MILE (1999), STAND BY ME (1986), DOLORES CLAIBORNE (1995), THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994)...... but so many of the others strike me as ...well, amusing but tacky sideshow tents at a two-bit carnival that's rolled into town for a rainy weekend... some thrills, some chills, some giggles ..and then it’s stumbling off through the mud to the tilt-a-whirl, a drooping paper cone of flaccid cotton candy, and the ring-toss booth for a stained kewpie doll. And the titles! THE ENRAGED FRIENDSHIP BRACELET (1978), MRS. CHARNER’S VERY BAD BROWNIES (1981), WISHFUL OBJET D’ARTE (1983), THE GRUMPY MARY-KAY LADY (1987), THE ELDERLY MAN WHO WORE MILDEWED GYM SHORTS (1989), THE SPOON THAT TURNED INTO A FORK (1990), and SPANXIE & THE WET BALL OF YARN (1991)…..(jeeesh!)

And sadly, I’ve also noticed that NONE of the Stephen King films that I appeared in were on any Best Films list….. THE REALLY ANGRY SUNBEAM TOASTER (1985), HE THAT LIMPS AND CLEARS HIS THROAT (1987), MURIEL DESATNICK AND HER NOTIONS COUNTER OF SNARKINESS (1994), and of course, THE CLUTTERED NIGHT STAND WITH THE DRAWER THAT REMAINED STUCK (1995)…

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