Sybil Bruncheon's "Olympic Coverage Tonight!"... the Friendly Little Shepherdess Convent of Covington, Kentucky...

In the Care-Full & Prayerful Community Cafeteria the Sisters of all ranks have gathered to watch Sister Mary Helgillina compete in the Women's Obstacle Course and Hand-to-Hand Combat/ Downhill Luge. Traveling at over 120 mph and in her habit and wimple (as required by Monsignor Cryptuss McGallagher), she must race eight miles of winding, wind-blown track with carefully placed boulders, prickly pines, and assorted grizzly bears, coyotes, and enraged muskrats, while swinging wildly at other competitors with an assortment of croquet mallets, putting irons, and kitchen utensils. All the women of course are on their little luge sleds with no brakes of any kind... Mary Helgillina's advantage over her competition?? The Reverend Mother had set aside all of her kitchen duties over the last nine months so that she could practice sledding on a cafeteria tray while the other Holy Sisters pelted her flying by with old socks stuffed with potato peelings. Stay tuned...

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