*Tour-ette from our cozy, little circle on a blizzardy Tuesday before Valentines Day! 2/13/2024

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From Sybil Bruncheon's (Not So) Merry Memoirs:

I wish there was a less grim aftermath for Christmas.... I always dread this part of the celebrations. When the trees first start appearing at the street-corner lots lit by strings of bare light bulbs draped mock-gayly between street lamps and parking signs. Salesmen/tree choppers manning their vans and coffee thermoses through the night while their trees of all sizes and varieties lean against each other, stacked and bound with twine til they're examined, and either chosen or rejected for purchase. Little spruces perhaps only a year or two old resting against grand firs of maybe 30 years.... all of them cut down for the ultimate sin; being beautiful.

I know "they're grown for harvesting"..... I know "they're recycled" or "used for mulching".... but I have always, always been haunted by the Hans Christian Andersen story of "The Fir-Tree"... and the end of the story. My parents gayly read the fairy tale to me on Christmas eve, and then that last paragraph... I remember that I was convulsed (literally!), and inconsolable... and they were stunned at my reaction. They never looked at me the same way again... because I was no longer a simple child... with a child's simple sensibilities.

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*Tour-ette of this year's Christmas tree right before the Holiday! Last-minute scrambling! 12/23/2023

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Winter Woes & Warnings"...

...and so, as the Winter wore on day after day, week after week, and Kiki Sanderson's 40th Birthday drew near, Kiki began to slowly unravel. "Old!" she thought. "I'm getting old...and I'm.... bored!..... bored with myself….bored with this unending Winter. Maybe I'll throw myself a special Birthday party...a party that my friends will talk about and remember.... and remember how glamorous and clever I was! Oh YES! GLAMOROUS AND CLEVER!!!". ...and as she trailed off to the kitchen, she made the decision to make a delicious butter cream frosting and serve her own head as a Birthday cake to her friends...

("Now!! Where did I put those candles?... Gee, I hope someone blows me out right away!”…)

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmas... and the morning after..."

Yep, one day you're a super star! An international icon for the entire world! Copied, admired, immortalized in theatre, film, art; written about and TO by millions of adoring fans, the subject of more songs than any other figure in history... and then... you're dumped! Snubbed, forgotten, tossed aside like the withered pine trees in the gutters with their sad tinsel and the odd orphan ornament still hooked into a back-branch. It's 6 in the morning on the 26th, and your only pal is some middle-aged waitress named Maureen, sneaking a smoke after she brings you a cuppa joe and yesterday's pumpkin pie... but it's a double-sized slice, not because she likes you, but because it's all that's left in the dented pie tin, and the crust is missing from half of it... and nope! No whipped cream…

Still, unlike other has-beens or never-weres, you have a little good news, albeit about 11 months away. You'll "be back"... with all the glamour and glitter that a celebrity in fur and velvet like you lives for. So you pay the check, tip Maureen 30%, and head out to the alley behind the diner by the dumpster where you parked. And then, it's up, up, and away!... a flight home. A really long flight home, where your wife is waiting... a nice hot shower and a warm bed. …oh, and a few letters that just arrived...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmases That Mostly WEREN'T!"... Rules are rules!

Janey forgot that Daddy said don't go sledding at the Grand Canyon... and Ted wasn't going to remind her...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmases That Mostly WEREN'T!"... Neither snow, nor rain, nor...

Clem Madison was a devoted mailman in the little town of Krampden Corners, Iowa. It was a simple little job for a simple little village, but still... It never occurred to Clem that he should ask for an enclosed vehicle of some sort to deliver the mail... or that perhaps, if he was going to walk, he could carry more than one piece of mail at a time on each trip... that's what the bag was for...

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Sybil Bruncheon's "Christmases That Mostly WEREN'T!"... snack time at the North Pole...

It was well known that Santa "was chubby and plump" and shaped "like a bowl full of jelly", but no one ever discussed his voracious appetite other than the cookies that millions of children left for him on Christmas night all around the entire world... and WHY they might have! Why, indeed?! Gradually though, children began to notice fewer and fewer reindeer accompanying Santa on his travels... first Donner, then Blitzen, and finally Dasher, Vixen, Comet, and eventually poor, trusting Cupid... gone, all gone... never to be seen again.

It was that particular Christmas in 1943 when only Dancer and Prancer, thoroughly exhausted, failed to clear Mt. Beauregard in the Ozarks. Santa and his entire sleigh plunged from a height of three and half miles into a remote canyon somewhere in Arkansas...

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*Tour-ette on a freezing, rainy Monday after Easter Sunday... Where the Hell is Spring??? 4/18/2022

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*Tour-ette on a brittle and blustery end-of-March Monday! Brrrr! 3/28/2022

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