Sybil Bruncheon's Stories For Young Scientists…

Boys and Girls! Did you know that there have been other solar eclipses at other times and in different places?? For instance, at Prendergast Point, Idaho, at the Our Lady of Merciful Miasmas Laying-In Hospital, the nursing staff took a short break on the afternoon of June 17th, 1921. Being educated and extremely scientific ladies, they had prepared thoroughly for this "once-in-a-lifetime opportunity"….. as the sky darkened and all conversation quieted, the girls marveled at the other phenomenon surrounding the event.

The birds stopped singing, crickets and other night-time creatures began to hum, and the famous "chilly breeze" passed over them as the moon's shadow crossed the globe…. the extraordinary mystery and stillness of the event was suddenly broken by old Mr. Gregoire, the janitor from the 4th floor who thought it would be funny to bombard the earnest ladies with stolen pastries from the cafeteria! "Moon pies!", he shrieked! 'Moon Pies! MOON PIES!!!", and as if that wasn't shock enough for the screaming and frosting-covered ladies, he proceeded to pull down his overalls only inches from their gaping faces and expose his 68 year old buttocks to them…. Cries of, "My eyes! MY EYES!!!" filled the courtyard of the hospital as medical staff came running….

The papers reported that this was yet another instance of a temporary madness which seems to follow solar eclipses as they occur. No charges were filed, although Mr. Gregoire was given a topical ointment to alleviate an unsightly pimple condition…

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Sybil Bruncheon's HIT-OR-MISS HISTORIES!... "Inventions That Failed"...

This is the amazing "Emotion Wheel" first proposed by psycho-therapists Robert Plutchik and Kaitlin Robbs, to map the amazing array and range of emotional responses to stimuli in the modern world!.... Sadly, their psychological and philosophical research did not improve their OWN emotional dysfunction with colleagues or in the everyday workplace. They finally resolved to mount the wheel on a piece of cardboard, push a pin through the middle, and spin it in the morning as they left for their offices at Rockefeller University’s Advanced Psychological Studies Laboratories.

Their basic approach to their day would be left up to chance, and, being disciplined scientists, they would adhere strictly to what the wheel's choice had been for the both of them. It worked fairly well, although other scientists and their friends and family would notice a certain rigidity to their moods. It was often said the whatever their attitude was in the morning could not be altered at any point during the day no matter what the ups and downs that might come along. The good news was that if the day started cheerfully then not even the worst setbacks could shake them... a car accident after work was met with belly laughs and a jolly champagne dinner once they had gotten home from the hospital. On the other hand, the bad news was that both Plutchik and Robbs remained sullen and resentful even after they found out that they won the lottery on June 13th and only became grateful the following morning (courtesy of the wheel's random choice), though prone to excessive tears and unexplained introspection until the 15th. Month after month these strange mood swings went on and on without rhyme or reason or the public's knowledge of the cause. 

Eventually, the whole Emotion Wheel experiment came to a terrible end when accidentally, they spun for their moods separately. They had not realized that each had left the house without coordinating with the other on that fateful Tuesday in December. Robbs spun and received "Wildly Elated With Hints Of Mania", and Plutchik was given "Imploded Rage Armed With a Machete"..... well, you probably read the newspapers.....Remember? "HEADLESS CORPSE IN TOPLESS BAR!"....Robbs and his head were buried in Ronkonkoma, and Plutchik was confined to the Rikers Island Psychiatric Facility For The Mentally Whimsical......

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