Yes, Friends… so many of us have heard of or actually lived strange experiences… sometimes in the most unexpected places and ways. This story is taken from the Powahatton Morning Gazette that a Mrs. Geraldinette Gardner of 1250 Elco Drive in Mount Mason, Iowa recently reported that her own younger sister Edith was no longer… well… “Edith”. And that she might have been taken over by an alien presence… possibly from the flying saucer which supposedly landed earlier in the week at the annual Girl Scout Jamboree in the Pchucken woods two miles down the road.
Local newspapers reported the landing, but unfortunately it only lasted a matter of minutes and was reported only by young girls under the impressionable age of seven… and it was at 4:30 in the morning as Gilda Marie Faber reported from her Minnie Mouse watch. No adults or indeed reliable sources were witnesses according to Sheriff Johnny Bob Clemens. “We like to trust these young ladies, especially as they’re Girl Scouts and, of course, the mothers of tomorrow, but five or six pre-teens in the wee hours of the morning claiming a flying saucer landed near tent #13 for a few minutes?… well, Hell, I wouldn’t trust ‘em if they were actually grown teen-agers! I certainly wouldn’t trust my OWN!”.
Back to Mrs. Gardener: before her sister began to “change”, Mrs. Gardner had been on the Refreshments and Festive Aspics committee for the United Baptist Holy Waters Conference to be held in the Mason Fairgrounds. She reported that she had carefully prepared a recipe from the Duncan Hines MORE-THAN-CAKE Cook Book (the 1954 edition with the color photos and the plasticized recipe cards tucked into the back cover flap! You know the kind… they can be wiped clean in case of kitchen spills!) She had followed the recipe exactly without her usual improvisations or additions! “It was my first time with this recipe, and I always follow the directions exactly when I attempt a new dish!… It’s only fair!”… She finished with the gelatin, the tomato soup, the vegetables and seasonings… and then refrigerated the circular mold in her Amana refrigerator, the new pink one with the chrome trim. At approximately 4:30 in the morning, she heard the sound of her screen door on the back porch swing open and slam. She rushed down the stairs to see a shadowy figure “bent over and sort of limping or crawling quickly through the nearby trees in the direction of Pchucken. She saw that nothing seemed to be amiss and went back to bed…
But the next morning!… when she went to the Amana to take out her aspic, it had changed! CHANGED! It had grown… yes, GROWN strange appendages in the middle where there had been olives, pineapple chunks, mini-marshmallows, carrot and celery sticks, and a refreshing but-not-too-sweet mayonnaise mousse-dip! And it had grown… well… eyes. Yes, EYES!! ALL OVER!!! Red, glaring EYES!!!… that followed you wherever you went! She staggered backward from the quivering dish; quivering, by the way, all on its own. When her sister Edith swept into the kitchen with fresh flowers, a six-pack of Schlitz, and two jumbo sized loaves of Wonder Bread, all for the picnic, Mrs. Gardner didn’t mention the aspic or its appalling transformation to Edith. She claims she didn’t know what to say… She left the kitchen for only a moment, apparently to get her new Mary Kay lipstick in Tango Tangerine and a mascara… but when she came back down “in just a matter of minutes”, Edith had swallowed (or been forced to swallow) the entire aspic. At least that’s what it looked like… and from there, according to a hysterical Geraldinette Gardner, Edith was never the same.
Most of the authorities contacted have not believed Gardner’s story, and the few that have interviewed Edith have not noticed anything out of place other than a flatness in her conversation… well, and her frequent requests for ketchup and mustard packets from the Athanasakos Greek Diner. She assures us that she always pays for them, and consumes them as “meal-substitutes, sometimes twenty or thirty at a time… but only around 4:30 in the morning… 5 at the latest…”…
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